


The hate chip gets a glitch.

by KingFranPetty



Category: Sly Cooper (Video Games)
Genre: Accidental Cuddling, Affection, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Animal Instincts, Animal Traits, Animalistic, Childhood Trauma, Courting Rituals, Courtship, Cuddling & Snuggling, Dubcon Cuddling, Enemies, Fights, Foe Yay, Giant Robots, Grooming, Hate to Love, Hugs, Implied/Referenced Dubious Consent, Kidnapping, Killer Robots, Love/Hate, M/M, Mating Rituals, Non-Consensual Touching, Out of Character, Possessive Behavior, Psychological Trauma, Public Display of Affection, Robot/Human Relationships, Robots, Touching, Touchy-Feely, Trauma, Twisted and Fluffy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-25
Updated: 2020-01-24
Packaged: 2021-02-25 12:53:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22396432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KingFranPetty/pseuds/KingFranPetty
Summary: Thousands upon thousands of years of a steady diet of cold hate disappears in seconds. Replaced with something very different... Based loosely of a thought I had as a kid playing the game because I was always like this. I'm sorry.
Relationships: Sly Cooper/Clockwerk
Comments: 6
Kudos: 8





	1. Chapter 1

The massive mechanical horrror of a murder bird stood before the last of a long line of thieves. Moral enemies, maybe less so on one part. They were bound to kill each other, today had been decided that only one of them was going to walk out of here. Unfortunately fate's plan was dismissed in favor of a new idea. A cane swung to blow the robotic owl. Causing more damage on the inside than the outside. The only keeping this abomination to all live alive had been damaged but functional despite one small glitch. Something I will name the "Love Bug."

Yellow eyes that had haunted the Cooper legacy turned back to the source of damage, cold calculating hatrage twisted in New and Horrific Ways™. Something that shocked and shook the noble and moral thief deeply enough to shake off that mask. The one he had been using to stop being that terrified child in the closet. A Massive, Metal, claw pinned the raccoon to the ground, it's owner taking the time to closely study his pray. The mammal was frozen, sure beyond all doubt that his fate would be his father's but with no one to carry on after him. Instead, the murder bird started to check his fur for insects. 

As birds often do to mammals to display friendship and affection. 

There was no bugs, causing the murder machine to nuzzle the smaller man. In that horror show of a voice, the monster cooed softly, "Tiny Raccoon. Soft and warm. I forgot how warm bodies of flesh are. And so very fragile. Cooper~♥ Cooper~♥♪" The young man joked to regain his mask, "Did I knock a screw loose in your head, Buddy?" Clorkwerk gently head butt him as if a cat trying to ask for affection. The metallic monster assured, "My hardware is perfect working conditions, Sly Cooper." Sly Cooper gave a doubtful look, sneaking the last pages away while the bag of bolts was distracted with whatever this is. 

Sly commented, "I'm sorry but I'm not exactly interested in a relationship with the monster that murdered my parents in front of me." The silvery owl recounted fondly, "Ah yes, your father. He was truly a worthy addition to the Cooper bloodline... Truly a shame he died." That hit a nerve. The raccoon fumed, "You KILLED him!" The metal bird nodded a little bit, then quickly returning to trying to find a way to lay on the smaller man without crushing him to death. Fortunately, Bentley and Murray appeared to save their best friend. Not having a plan but wanting to save their friend, the two tried hitting it with everything they got. 

Which mostly meant that Bentley shot from home base and Murray tried to punch the metal death machine. 

Of course, one doesn't get to live generations upon generations by sitting like a duck when under fire. The horror took care to keep his prey out of harm's way as he darted to the skies. The turtle stopped all fire, seeing his friend and brother at risk of crossfire. They stood, in helpless stalemate as Sly and Clorkwerk disappeared into the night. The two sidekicks and equals readied the van for a trip, determined to find and save the hero. Regardless of fear or danger, nothing could stop them. 

The blue dress man watched the ground below as the sun rose, he sighed, "Can you let me down?" The giant robot kept flying. The murderer denied that request, "I have to make sure you are somewhere safe before I can do that, Cooper. I cannot risk the tiny raccoon being harmed." Cold and calculated even if the hate switch was flipped to love. While Sly Cooper couldn't be called the smarter person on his team, he puzzled together a loose idea of what was going on. Then used it to his advantage, "But I'll surely die without my friends. Don't you care about my little bitty heart breaking?" The cold machine paused, gliding downwards. 

The giant owl hid as he explained, "You may call your... "Friends" but I will watching. Always watching you, my little raccoon." Hahaha, his attempts at affection are deeply troubling. Now you might be wondering how a building sized, mechanic, bird would hide in a urban area. Well he had been hiding well enough to never be spotted by generations of master thieves until it was too late for them, so I assume the same way all crypids do. Surprisingly easily. The young adult tried his best to ignore his childhood nightmares attempts to be protective and went to a nearby payphone. 

A silvery wing lightly touched his shoulder and face, retracting as the hateful machine disappeared. 

The masked man shaked with a deep chill, waiting for the other side of his call to pick up. Today wasn't exactly what he expected in his life long revenge plot but he wasn't dead. That was something extremely rare considering the history of his family in regards of mechanical owls. That was something he accomplished that nobody before in his bloodline had achieved. Even if it was by strange luck it was done... And because said mechanical owl was trying court and probably mate him. Computers are, surprise, surprise, just as likely to break and glitch as any machine. 

Now to find a way to ignore that feeling of someone far away watching and trying to undress him with their eyes. 

Creepy, old, machine, men... Being creeps. 

The End.. Unless I decide not to.


	2. The cold heart of hate infatuated.

I don't believe Clorkwerk actually loves Sly Cooper. It's actually closer to the animal instinct to mate and protect mate. Why? Because I don't think he can actually love or could ever love, he has always seemed... Inhuman like that. Like a dragon with robotic intelligence. Mimicking the nature of heart and soul in twisted parodies of humanity. Something so like a person but so very unhuman on all levels. While the nature of human is to be between animal and what is beyond, he only shares the animal and beyond traits in the most fundamentally wrong ways. 

With or without Love Bugs, Clorkwerk is truly the embodiment of cold hate. He is a villain long beyond the reach of redemption. There is nothing left but all which isn't human. No matter how much that glitch makes him pretend, his "love" is a crude, twisted, mocking, joke. Now, isn't that the most unsympathetic heartbreaker you've ever heard?

From King Francis Petty. 

To Reader. 

Now to our regularly scheduled nightmares, 

Clorkwerk cuddled Sly Cooper in bird in his giant nest. Electric daydreams of making and caring for their spawn fluttered about his computing system. Forming ideas of his selected mate being safe and happy as they stayed together. Sly on the other hand was laying in a nest with his childhood monster, confused on a wide range. Despite the giant owl's lack of familiarity with how affection is supposed to work and cold hard body, the bird cuddles felt nice. If he pretended it wasn't coming from his parents' murderer. And that said giant owl was probably thinking about... That. 

It was rather conflicting. The monster from every single nightmare he ever knew to fear was snuggling him and rambling off about how it wanted to make him feel safe and loved. At least this confusing nightmare would end soon. Bentley and Murray were coming to the rescue. They had assured him as such over the phone. Unlucky that it would take quite some time given that him and the clockwork owl were in a different country from the volcano. Speak of Sly Cooper and Clorkwerk, the metal terror was using his huge wings to hug the Cooper close yet soft. As if the situation wasn't uncomfortable before. 

"Soft, warm, raccoon. So vulnerable. I wish I could hold you safe forever. Why must you leave me so quickly? When I could provide you with everything you could ever need and immortality?" The ancient monster questioned, gently moving it's wings to simulate a more mammalian cuddle. While Sly does in fact need a hug, this was probably the worst way to give him one. The not evil criminal in the conversation reminded him, "Because you murdered my father in front of me, claimed my family's legacy for your own, and lack any soul or heart to speak of." A breath was mimicked as the metal, death, bird tried to clean the thief carefully. 

"♪Oh can't you see? You belong to me. My poor heart aches with every step you take.♪" The text to speech voice sang mainly to himself, puzzling how to comb the ears with his large, murder, beak without harming said ears. Flesh was so fragile but it felt so good and soft and warm to be pressed against. It made him miss his old body a little. For one, it won't need additional work done on it to provide his mate with what he needs. Since there was a noticeable lack of things between his talons that would be incredibly instrumental to do the required task. Something he thought unessential and needless. 

That thought was becoming a bigger regret. Amongst many, many, many, regrets. Sure, he had all the time in the world to wait for his mate to be ready but raccoons don't live forever. This one had no offspring, the Cooper bloodline could die with him. Especially with the reluctant display to immortality. 

The raccoon pondered what exactly happened in that chip based brain when he hit the murder bird with his family cane. What was so easily flipped that had kept the owl ever seeking Coopers to destroy? What cruel, cold, calculation logiced away the switch from hate to infatuation? What exactly was this ancient nightmarish beast going to do to him? You know, normal things people think when the source of their lifetime trauma decides to nuzzle them. Like you do. 

The sun was up and it was warmth. In the oversized nest, the villain and hero lay together in one sided embrace. Help was coming. Yet it wasn't here yet. A man who lived in the shadows and the crypid that haunted the night watched the sunrise end. Neither loved the other, still their parody of love was warm despite beating within a cold heart of hate. 

The End.


End file.
